I have an illness

Seriously. Where have all the good goths gone? Am i so late to the game that.....Shit...i am very late to the game, dammit. I feel like Alice late to the party.....I took years to finish my book and even longer to discover something you probably are over. Yup...that dreaded suck you in and make you mad crush on all those seriously crazy people on Youtube. And i thought i had issues.....it's a serious disease people! I go to check out one vlog and the next thing i know six hours are gone...My problem is that most channels have been going on forever and the drama is years old....So yeah...the guys with hair who are totally hot and gothy or just hot period are now short haired and mostly hated. Of course people change and they should. growth is good but damnit, cutting off the hair....why? All the guys i have ever crushed on...yeah they toned down and lost the hair or found god or whatever. It feels like i find someone i can connect to and then nope...they lose that edge or turn into dirt bags. Not that Im out there looking for someone else....I am a we and we are not taking applications Unless your gothy or Asian or tatted or have colored hair...or all of the above...or have wings or are a vampire or both...I should have warned you that i don't have my muti vitimine and i suffer from seasonal dissafective disorder and as i said i watched six hours of Youtube....and i have no friends or a life. I am out of paint and need to see a real concert soon and it's past time i started my own channel. So i can look like the crazy lady i am....Not a stalker!!! Just love the look.....